Until the last moments,
and even at the last,
I hoped you’d be a blessing,
a miracle, really,
and appear at my wedding,
even when all attempts to reach you,
to reach the divides of our family,
to reach your heart
and bring it home
had failed.

The wedding went perfectly
even without you,
everyone was happy,
dancing with love,
lapping up their joy
for the day
in seconds and thirds.

Yet your absence was still felt,
but it was more of a celebration
of your former presence,
your words to G,
saying that I’d be happy
with two mismatched shoes
making their way into
his speech,
his gentle nod to you
still being remembered
and included in the day’s bliss.

There was no bitterness
at the void,
the fullness of the day
made no room for it.
There was only love
spilling over,
only love left
for you,
even though you
were not
with us.