The Christmas Video

We were searching through the old family videos of us, searching for an image of you, your voice, your old humor. We found one, it was Christmas Eve in Miami, with everyone opening gifts, just after our big feast. We were all in good spirits, everyone wanted a chance at the camera, except for you. You were just happy in the moment of the family being whole again, you didn’t need to immortalize it, because you knew it’d always stay with you anyway.

I kept asking you if you wanted to say something, and as I was watching the video, that’s what I was pleading, say something. But instead, my younger child self, stomps over your attempts, and talks over you. What playful joke, wise words, or loving expression, forever lost because of my thoughtlessness.

How many times must I have heedlessly stomped on your messages to me both then and now?